Three (or more) good things

A graduate student who is also a friend defended successfully on Monday, and helped me out by putting together the prize bags for the MiniFair this Saturday.

I had lunch with a friend I haven’t seen for a few months.

I was able to encourage a student working on a project write-up (but struggling with writing) that he is doing a good job.

I invited the dean to attend a student’s presentation. He couldn’t come, but he’s also worked extensively with this student, and I hope he was glad to be asked.

I ordered a new refrigerator. I will have it next week.

I stopped and wrote some good things down here today.

I wrote in my journal today, after a long absence.

Posted in me

What went wrong?

Last week in Mathematical Modeling (morning and afternoon) I’d asked students ahead of time to get up and present one or two of the slides they’ve made for their final presentations. Their mini-presentations went well. After each, I asked the class to tell the presenter something s/he did well.

I felt good about this; they seemed to enjoy it.

I continued with that on Tuesday … only to have about 1/3 or more of my afternoon class, including my scheduled presenters, not show up.

I felt stupid. And bad. Was I wrong last week? What the hell happened? Why was this okay in the morning class but not in the afternoon?

We’ll see what happens in class tomorrow. After that wrap-up to Tuesday, I am not looking forward to it.

I thought some of my readers might like this article on Inequity in the Pursuit of Feminism. I get pretty hot about women’s issues, especially in the academic (math) world where the numbers are way out of whack. My interest is definitely self-serving. It’s good to have it pointed out that others (poor women, minorities, LGBT) have bigger problems than I face, and they deserve my support and outrage.

Zipline!

I’m out at the Wakonse South Conference on College Teaching. This is not the type of conference where you sit quietly and listen to experts. There are sessions to guide us, but you are expected (almost forced) to participate in each. This year’s theme is Reflection.

The opening activity really opened my eyes. We were discussing a taxonomy of learning (not the famous Bloom’s taxonomy, an alternative, simpler, but still quite complex). As the speakers wrapped up, they had us put away our notes, and asked us to recreate the steps in the taxonomy. They had seemed logical a moment ago, and I got only a few things on my paper before I was completely stuck. So much for lecturing on something and expecting your students to remember it!

Then they had us work in groups to try to recreate the taxonomy. Bingo! Within 3-5 minutes, a group of 4 of us had recreated most of the taxonomic chart. That made it clear to me how important peer interaction is. I do a lot of exercises where I ask students to try things on their own, and I don’t do enough of asking them think for a minute, then work with peers. Note to self: change this.

The resort (rustic, not fancy) had a zipline open for us this afternoon. Yes, I had to try it. On the ground, it doesn’t look so bad. Up on the platform, I began to melt with anxiety and fear.

As with so many things, the hardest part is letting go. I had to use my lungs and vocal cords in a loud cowabunga to get myself off the platform.

The second time was easier, but again, the hardest part is letting go.

I contemplated a third time, and decided not to. Maybe I should have. I don’t think it is ever easier to let go.

I am thinking on matters in my personal life. Wondering if it is becoming time to let some things go. In Blackwater Woods by Mary Oliver is on my mind, so much wisdom, so much pain. I hope for character and courage in facing both the near and the far future.

From In Blackwater Woods:

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

2013?

It is the year 2013 isn’t it? I am encountering articles today that make me believe otherwise.

Racism: Georgia high school students organize first integrated prom. Thank goodness for the high school students for having the maturity what the adults should have done decades ago.

Homophobia: Student senate passes ‘Religious Funding Exemption Bill’ (which I think should be known as the “We are some hellacious hypocritical Christians” bill, but then, what do I know?)

Sexism: Groundbreaking Female Rocket Scientist Sure Could Cook. Man, I was worried about that! What if one day I woke up able to simultaneously solve 5 differential equations in my head, but I couldn’t cook for my significant other. What a tragedy that would be.

But yes, all of that still happens today. After my experience in the interview last week, I am saddened but unsurprised.


Dear dear dear Students,

Please see to it that your generation does a better job than mine. I’m sorry we screwed so many things up for you.

Regretfully,

Dr. Jinx

Rebuttal

The question for you, my dear and knowledgeable friends and supporters, is if I would like the position although only at an appropriate rate of pay (and, hopefully, rank), does sending this help or at least not hurt the situation? I will refuse any offer that is below my salary for 2013.

Truth is my partner is going to have to do the real negotiating for me. The one power I have is to say no.

Thoughtful comments welcome and encouraged. My emotions on this are still strong.

Backstory. I didn’t put all the details of the conversation in. The chair was bragging at one point about forcing other women to take a pay cut to come to his institution. Then he argues that to do anything else to me would be unfair. There are other damning and insulting details. It was outrageous and grossly out of the usual rules of professional interaction.


Dear Chair and Protege,

I have to admit, I am still reflecting on our conversation Friday at wondering if that was an early April Fool’s Day joke that I just didn’t find funny.

With the exception of that conversation with the two of you, I very much enjoyed talking to the other people I met in the department, and in many ways I think the position would be a good match.

However, I am sure you understand that I cannot consider accepting an offer that is not at market value for my level of experience and qualifications. Given my current salary at Texas A&M, this would be between <$12,000 and $15,000 above the salary we discussed> per nine month appointment.

I am also concerned with the rank appointment. It is standard practice in faculty hires to keep employees at the same rank or even to hire them at a higher rank than they had in their previous institution. Given the tone of our conversation, I would like to speak with the dean or someone in higher authority about this.

I hope we can come to terms on this matter.

Sincerely,

A few days later

A few days later, and what have I learned?

  1. You can know someone is being abusive, but it will still hurt.
  2. When something like this happens in a job negotiation to a woman, there will always be at least one or two well-meaning friends to ask her if she tried negotiating. It was worth it to me realize that they meant well and to fight down my indignation.
  3. Anxiety problems and abuse are not a good combination. It’s been tough these last several days.
  4. That department chair and his protege were so out of line.
  5. Yes, in 2013, there are still men who go on power trips trying to take advantage of women financially in professional contexts. Unbelieveable, but true.
  6. I still need feminism. We still need feminism. Oh my gosh, do we ever need feminism.
  7. I am fortunate in my friends.
  8. I have friends who are knowledgable about academic hiring who are willing to take the time to talk to me, reassure me, and advise me.
  9. I am still angry, and I expect to be for a while.
  10. Fair or unfair, the tenure-track hire in the relationship has more negotiating power in these situations than the person who would actually be doing the non-tenure-track job.

In case you never saw it, or forgot about it, enjoy Jon Stewart on Teachers and Wall Street.

And one more for shared outrage with my feminist friends: Saudi Arabia lets women ride bicycles, but only for fun, not for transportation. This is not from the Onion. This is real news. Yes, in 2013!

Survived

I am not a young kid, and I’ve been on a lot of job interviews, including some bad ones. But this past week really took the cake.

I even got offered the job. With a reduction in my rank and a $10k pay cut over my current position.

Because, after all, it wouldn’t be fair to put me ahead of the other new hires. No matter that unlike the others who are fresh out of school, I’ve got experience and awards behind me to establish my worth.

There was reason to see this coming, and I put my chin up and my best face forward for the interview knowing that was the only possible way to succeed.

The guy got on a power trip talking about all the other people who he had forced into taking a pay cut and/or reduction in rank.

But not me.

Funny how you can even see it coming, know it’s wrong, know it isn’t about you, and it still hurts. A lot.

Do I write to withdraw my application for the position early next week? Or I can let them go through the paperwork to make me the offer on paper, and then refuse it. Which will have the biggest effect?

Link Dump on teaching evaluations, gender, academic gender bias

Critical mass of women in academic science. They say critical mass is at the 15% level. When I used to talk about this with women friends doing the martial arts we talked about the 25-30% level. Who knows where we got that from. I’d like to see more research on this.

Another article on gender bias in teaching evaluations that also points to the fact that teaching evaluations often have little to do with what the students learn. Apparently personality of the instructor is the biggest influence on teaching evaluations. Ouch.

The chilly academic climate toward women. Road blocks, road blocks, everywhere.

The Torment of Teaching Evaluations; advice for getting better ones. What should you do if you don’t like your teaching evaluations? Ways to influence them without modifying real course content.

Gender bias in teaching evaluations of high school teachers. Some nice graphics showing the differences.

ETS weighs in.

Teaching evaluations

My friend’s question about whether she is a good teacher got me off on a research binge. Her question arose from negative teaching evaluations; something that I think even the best teacher has to put up with.

Earlier in the semester another faculty member mentioned that students’ evaluations of teaching don’t correspond to their learning. That study shows that professor quality has an effect on student learning measured through their grades in subsequent courses. Student evaluations of teachers are heavily influenced by the grade the student expects to receive in the current (contemporaneous) course.

Inevitably, in freshman weed-out courses you will get worse teaching evaluations than for a small senior seminar.

This paper also shows that professors who do well at helping students with contemporaneous learning on average harm the students in subsequent (more advanced) classes. Whoops! Student evaluations are positively correlated with contemporaneous achievement and negatively correlated with follow-on achievement. Academic rank, experience teaching, whether or not you have a terminal degree are negatively correlated with performance in the current class and positively correlated with student performance in subsequent classes.

Perhaps my friend should embrace the painful teaching evaluations?

On the other hand, this worries me; my teaching evaluations are fairly good. Am I teaching to the test or am I promoting deep learning? I hope I am promoting deep learning, although I also think that exams should not come as a surprise to the students provided the student is doing what he/she is supposed to do. I will have to reflect on this in future semesters. I know that having taught broadly within the curriculum has influenced my teaching; when I know what expectations are in later courses, I make sure things get covered in earlier courses to promote the later learning.

I’ve taught differential equations three times, and I have consciously tried to make the course more difficult each time I’ve taught it.

Another complicating factor in evaluating student evaluations is that they aren’t gender-blind. Male students rate female professors more negatively than male professors. Female students tend to rate female professors more highly, but this doesn’t help if you are a female teaching in a predominantly male discipline (like upper-level math).

This got me thinking about my mathematical modeling course. The best semester I had with it was Spring of 2012. That class produced great work and awesome outcomes; I had a lot of fun with them, and they with me. The Fall of 2012 class was a real let down; there were a lot of weak students in the class, and I was too lenient early in the semester. This semester is going well and students are performing well, but there’s not that extra oomph I recall from Spring 2012.

I wonder what I’m doing different or not as well.

After reading the article, I started wondering if it is me. In Spring 2012, out of 18 students, I had 8 women in the class. In Fall 2012, I had 5 women of 17 students. This semester I have 4 women out of 34 students split into two women in each of two sections of 17 students. I think that is one of the major influences on the dynamic of the class. You need a certain critical mass of women in the class for the culture to change. I had it in Spring 2012, and I don’t have it now.

Good at it

A friend stated, “I love what I do, but am I any good at it?” Since she is a fellow teacher, I presume she is talking about teaching.

My first reaction is that we generally love to do things we are good at, so loving it is a good indication that you are probably good at it.

A second thought is that it is really hard to define good. You have to articulate your values or standards before you can evaluate how well you meet them.

My thoughts about myself are that I believe I am a good teacher. What I want is to be a great teacher. I do not think I am there yet, but I am working on it.

What are my standards?

  1. Show up to class prepared.
  2. Regard students as human beings and treat them like human beings.
  3. Take opportunities to learn about how people learn and build in rewards for students who do the things that cause them to learn.
  4. Be kind when possible.
  5. Recognize that kind is not always doing what the student wants.
  6. Be conscious of fairness and always critically look at my fairness.
  7. Offer inspiration and wonder.
  8. Catch students doing things right.
  9. Open the door to creativity.
  10. Admit when I don’t know or I screw up.

How do I do?

  1. I often feel like I had a plan (was prepared), but it didn’t work the way I wanted it to.
  2. I usually do pretty well at regarding students as human beings and treating them like human beings, but some really just wear my patience thin quickly. Treating someone like a human being includes enforcing your own boundaries, but that doesn’t always feel nice.
  3. I’ve gone to a lot of seminars with the Center for Teaching Effectiveness, I read widely, I’ll go to the Wakonse South Conference on College Teaching again. I’ve incorporated these ideas in my classroom. I am working on this.
  4. Usually yes, I am kind.
  5. Sometimes the only way to get through the day is to remind yourself that being kind is not doing what others want.
  6. I’m still grading too much writing with the “I know good when I see it” standard. I should work on creating more objective standards.
  7. I try to bring in things that inspire me and make me wonder. I am not sure how that goes over with the students sometimes, but I keep trying. I can’t inspire them if I am not inspired myself.
  8. Yes, I catch students doing things right.
  9. Yes, I have at least a few assignments that open the door to creativity. I wish I had more.
  10. I am pretty good at admitting when I screw up, or I don’t know.