At some point yesterday, I realized my fall off the bike on Wednesday left me with more hurts (hip, shoulder) than just a bruise. Nothing that a short amount of time won’t fix, but I do hurt. Maybe that helps explain why that fall left me so shaky and upset at the time.
I’m feeling unmotivated to go out and do much in the way of exercise — or much of anything at all. That, in turn, makes me feel guilty for wasting some beautiful days here when I could be out exploring.
I realized that I’m also feeling lonely. I’m doing a good job of getting out there and meeting people, but just acquaintances, no friends yet. Friendships take time to develop. Having someone else eager to go on an adventure would probably get me out there. I could have gone on a bike ride with the road group this morning — but they don’t really know me yet. I wouldn’t be missed. Back home — okay, not home anymore, my old home — I was the one who organized the rides. I bloody well showed up, whether I felt like it or not, or I would be missed.
Soon after typing this, I need to pull myself together enough to go explore the local farmer’s market. Walk around a bit in the sun, and stop feeling quite so sorry for myself. Even if that hip does hurt. Maybe it will loosen up some if I walk. While I am walking I can consider whether I want to drive out somewhere this afternoon to explore, or take care of getting more of my things set-up or doing an overdue chore in my new apartment home. I need to do something other than sit and mope. Because that’s not doing anyone, most especially me, a whole lot of good.